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“If They Text Me, I Text Back”: Andi’s One Line That Turned Nigel’s Open Relationship Into a Rulebook War

“If They Text Me, I Text Back”: Andi’s One Line That Turned Nigel’s Open Relationship Into a Rulebook War

“Well, yeah. If they text me, I’m going to text them back.” Andi Wallace said it flatly, on camera, in an Entertainment Tonight first look released November 4 — and in that one sentence, the open relationship she shares with Nigel on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way stopped being a lifestyle and became an argument about the rules. Nigel’s answer came just as fast: she was “crossing a line.”

The Confession: A Dating App and Two Men

In the clip, Andi tells Nigel she downloaded a dating app and met someone. Then she goes further: while living with him in Australia, she texted and flirted with two men. She slept with one of them; she did not sleep with the other. Asked whether the messages are still going, Andi does not hesitate — or apologize.

Nigel’s Line: No Ongoing Text Threads

Nigel draws his line in one sentence: “I don’t have ongoing text message relationships with any of these other lovers.” He says he is not “tied up emotionally or mentally” with them — and that, in his telling, is the difference. He calls her behavior “bending the rules,” then goes further, branding it “emotional cheating” and “hypocritical.” For Nigel, the offense is not the flirting, or even the night with one of the men. It is the thread that never ends — the reply that keeps coming back.

Andi Wallace smiling in Australia
Andi Wallace, smiling, in Australia. She moved across the world for Nigel — then found his open relationship meant something very different to him than it did to her. (Photo: TV Season & Spoilers)

The Rulebook They Never Actually Wrote

Here is the problem: nobody can produce the rulebook Nigel is quoting. Andi told her family before the move that she had accepted non-monogamy while she and Nigel lived on different continents — and that she hoped living closer would lead to exclusivity. Her relatives urged her to talk to Nigel instead of assuming. On Reddit, the split is already visible: on October 11, one commenter wrote, “You agreed to non-monogamy.” On October 19 and 26, others asked whether the couple had ever clearly set their rules at all. Two people, one “open” relationship, no shared definition of what “open” covers.

The Festival Photo That Weakens Nigel’s Case

Team Andi’s rebuttal is not a theory. It is a photograph. On November 3, Nigel posted Instagram Stories from the Earth Frequency Festival in southeast Queensland, dancing face-to-face with Azrael during the “Bangers & Crash finale” while Andi appeared nowhere. Azrael is the woman Nigel introduced on the November 1 episode as his “most recent, sort of, part-time lover” — the same woman whose arrival left Andi admitting to “anxiety” and “jealousy vibes.” If an ongoing emotional thread is the crime, Team Andi asks, what do you call dancing with your part-time lover in public?

Andi Jane performing live in Tennessee
Andi Jane performing live in Tennessee. Before Australia, she was a Nashville singer — the career she put on hold for a move that was supposed to bring her closer to Nigel. (Photo: Williamson County Public Library)

Two Camps, One Unanswered Text

So the fandom has split down the middle over one unanswered question: in an open relationship, where does the line sit — at the body, or at the phone? Team Nigel says Andi knew the deal and crossed it the moment she kept replying. Team Andi says a man who keeps a part-time lover cannot call a text message “emotional cheating.” The Tinder rumors swirling around Andi since October — an alleged profile and an alleged Nashville sighting, both unverified — only harden the camps. Neither Andi nor Nigel has confirmed a breakup. On Sunday, November 8, The Other Way returns with “Liar, Liar, Relationship on Fire,” and Andi comes face to face with Nigel’s lover, according to TLC’s synopsis.

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So here it is: if Andi’s phone lights up tomorrow and it is one of those two men, should she leave it unanswered to keep Nigel’s rule — or should Nigel rewrite his rulebook first, starting with the festival dance floor? Team Text-Back, or Team No-Ongoing-Threads — which side are you on?

90 Day Fiancé

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Megan Carter

Megan covers 90 Day Fiancé and its spin-offs for Remote & Tea — episode recaps, spoilers and the fan debates that follow every episode.

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