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Two Versions of One Argument: Rick Van Vactor’s Self-Defense Claim, and Everything We Know

Two Versions of One Argument: Rick Van Vactor’s Self-Defense Claim, and Everything We Know

Rick Van Vactor at the Tell All. A source told TMZ on November 5 that he acted in self-defense. (Photo: TLC via Nicki Swift)

At 3:47 p.m. PT on October 27, a California custody record was updated with one line: Douglas Van Vactor, 53, was out of custody after posting bond. Nine days later, TMZ reported, citing a source with direct knowledge, that Rick Van Vactor — the Before the 90 Days star — had acted in self-defense. The story of Rick’s arrest has now been told in two opposite versions, and as of November 6, neither has the paperwork to settle it.

Where This Story Starts: Madagascar

Viewers met Rick in Season 8 of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, when the California father of five flew to Madagascar to meet Trisha Stiley, a 25-year-old midwife, for the first time. The trip fell apart on camera: Rick admitted he had slept with a former girlfriend in Colombia while he believed Trisha had stopped speaking to him, and when he refused to cut off contact with that ex, Trisha ended it. At the Tell All, she said she had moved on — pregnant with someone else’s baby.

Trisha Stiley and Rick Van Vactor during their season of Before the 90 Days
Trisha Stiley and Rick Van Vactor during their season. Their relationship ended after Rick admitted to being unfaithful with a former girlfriend. (Photo: TLC via TV Season & Spoilers)

March to October: Five Months With Mari

By March 2026, a Facebook Dating profile linked to Rick was fueling split speculation. In April, he posted an Instagram Story photo of himself on an airplane with a new woman, then appeared in affectionate posts with Mari Spradlin. On October 29, Rick marked five months together online. Reports say they had dated since March after meeting online — and no earlier argument had ever escalated this way.

Rick Van Vactor and Trisha Stiley at a market in Madagascar
Rick Van Vactor and Trisha Stiley in Madagascar during their season, before the relationship with Mari Spradlin began. (Photo: TLC via MovieDelic)

October 27, 3:47 p.m.: The One Official Record

The only official detail so far is a California VINE custody record. It lists Van Vactor, 53, under his legal name, Douglas Van Vactor, as out of custody after bond was posted, naming the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department as the reporting agency. The entry was updated on October 27 at 3:47 p.m. Pacific time. It names no charges and describes nothing of what allegedly happened. On the facts that matter most, it is silent.

October 29–30: The Allegation, and the Video

The public story began on October 29, when the Instagram account @90dayfianceupdate alleged that Rick had been arrested, and Kiki and Kibbitz reported an arrest after an alleged physical confrontation with his girlfriend. The account said the argument may have started after his girlfriend became upset over his activity on Emma Perry’s Instagram posts, and claimed her son had filmed an earlier confrontation. It also shared purported messages and footage. None of that material has been independently verified.

On October 30, Complex described a video circulating online that appears to show a man identified as Rick with his hands around a woman’s neck and striking her, with children nearby. The footage has not been independently verified, and it does not establish what happened before or after the moments it appears to show. No police statement or charging document has clarified the allegations as of November 6.

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November 5–6: The Other Version

Then came the other version. On November 5, a source with direct knowledge told TMZ that Rick had acted in self-defense and that his girlfriend had started the argument. The same reporting said they have not lived together since, and Rick does not want to reconcile. On November 6, a second account, citing a source with direct knowledge, repeated the self-defense claim. Rick has not publicly addressed the allegations.

So here is where it stands: a custody record confirming a release on bond and nothing else, a video described but not verified, and two accounts of one argument pointing in opposite directions. If the record eventually names charges — or clears them — which version will it support, and what would it take for you to believe Rick’s side after a season that already cost him Trisha’s trust?

90 Day Fiancé

Network: TLC · Stream it on Max and discovery+ · Season now airing

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Megan Carter

Megan covers 90 Day Fiancé and its spin-offs for Remote & Tea — episode recaps, spoilers and the fan debates that follow every episode.

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